My New Years Resolution For Comedy In 2014 Is…….

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Opportunity.  That’s all I ever wanted from the start.  Regardless whether I was homeless, flat broke, unemployed or being assaulted, I still worked as hard as I could to earn an opportunity to get on stage.  The critics (bullies) were very adamant in their displeasure but eventually I shut my critics up with the comeback video that was co-written by my comedy coach and myself.  To see the video, you can go to the title page of the blog and choose the video, scroll down to the one of me in a pink shirt   🙂

I still can’t understand why some comics were jealous or had their huge egos bruised because I went to a comedy coach to get better.  Why would I get help from people who enjoy bashing me, and Tiger Woods has a coach, athletes have a coach and comedians have writers.  It’s a normal part of life, so seriously pull up your big boy pants, get the soother out of your mouth and grow up.

Now, back to the topic at hand.  This time of year isn’t fun for me.  It’s very lonely for starters, then you throw in the lack of respect I’ve been shown at work, not to mention the success that three good friends of mine are having in the entertainment field, and it makes me frustrated and sad.

One friend is a comedian too, and the other two guys I speak of have had success with cover bands they put together.  For these guys, it seems everything they have touched lately turns to gold, and I feel like Tony Soprano when he mused the following:

Sometimes I feel like King Midas, in reverse…..because everything I touch turns to shit!

I am now 40 years old, and it’s starting to become difficult to hear of the successes of my friends who undoubtedly deserve the accolades for all the work they’ve put into their respective projects.  However, for years and years and years, all it seems I’ve been doing is spinning my wheels.  Everyone else seems to have the attractive spouse/companion who is a wonderful person, good job, house, car, etc.

This empty feeling I have been getting lately makes me angry, wondering when I will catch a break.  I wonder how much more I have to endure before I get an opportunity to succeed.  It just seems like I am always spinning my wheels at every turn.  Each job I take does not treat me with dignity and/or respect consistently, underpaid, been homeless, assaulted, punched out at work, flat broke, no car, adopted, perpetually single with a family that isn’t entirely supportive of endeavours outside of work.  I walk everywhere, have to take the bus and rent a car whenever I need to get out of town.

You are probably wondering how all that assumed negativity can tie into the opportunity theme.  But stay with me folks, I’m about to connect the dots.

The first taste of success I had on the comedy stage was the night I placed first in the preliminary rounds of a comedy competition for newbies.  Hands down, that night I was the best (I’m not like some comics who like to inflate their accomplishments to justify their asshole-sized ego…..I actually was by far the funniest one that night, you can ask the people who were there in attendance). That particular set worked because I delivered it with passion, I believed what I was talking about, mostly because it was true.  The friends of mine who were in the audience that night had tears running down their face because they were laughing so hard.  Then here’s me, who has never had a laugh of that magnitude before, get completely confused.  I didn’t know how to handle the laugh, and I actually got agitated thinking my friends were “acting” by laughing so much.  The more agitated I got (it threw off my timing), the funnier it seemed to them.

Whenever I get up to speak at church, for example, I make sure my words count, that they have meaning.  I put passion, sincerity and energy into each word I speak.  Every word has a purpose within the greater context of the story.  That is how I need to be with my comedy.

I can see myself looking good on stage, being comfortable and confident in my material that’s delivered properly and with passion.  When material is delivered with emotion, the audience can feel it, making it more real and believable.

I have to take this sadness, frustration and hurt and channel it.  When I meet with my comedy coach shortly, I will be asking for his input to help me draft material that highlights the struggles.  Sure, the comeback video talked about struggles, but I want to get to the heart of the struggles that have dogged me for several years now.  All the bullying to prevent me from rising higher, all the negativity and loneliness that I feel needs to be directed towards the shit I went through in these last few years.  I must be able to use all that negativity to create humour, laughs that pack a punch yet have meaning.  I want to take all that garbage and use it to my advantage to help me rise higher.  If I don’t, it will certainly eat at me for years to come.  Making successful comedy from this will help give that crap closure for me.  So, in short I am looking for more stage time although it will be in Regina, as I have exhausted all my options in Saskatoon for the time being.  I need to make my limited stage appearances count.

Oh, I forgot one important thing.  This opportunity that I seek is for a reason.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, the motivation I have to earn more opportunity, to create balance within my world.  There is a goal that has been placed before me, it’s something that wasn’t even on my radar screen until I started the coaching.  After giving it some thought, I will do all that I can to pursue this goal, however impossible it may seem to the world.

We might talk about it more in a future post.  But for now, I need to get writing.

God bless!

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