New Destination, Same Map? Time To Fire The Tour Guide!!!

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After much soul searching and a difficult past few weeks, and after receiving an extremely gutless and ignorant anonymous comment left on my blog, I have come to a conclusion.  If I am not ashamed of who I am now, I cannot be ashamed of the journey I took to get me here.

I have had a lot happen in the last two months.  If you lump that in with the last six months of my life, it’s been the most unfair, the most heartbreaking, the most cruel, hurtful ad difficult period of my life.  I wouldn’t wish that bullshit upon anyone because to be honest I don’t know of anyone else who can handle all that I have been through without seeing a shrink or taking drugs to help cope.

The last six months saw me have a court case where I was looking at three years only to have the charges stayed.  A few weeks before that I reestablished a broken relationship that behind my back people were throwing me under the bus on Facebook for, saying I was a piece of garbage.  This came from friends who I’ve known for years, friends I thought that knew me better than that, friends who stuck by me when I wasn’t very good at comedy at the start, friends who as believers should have known to handle the situation better instead of leaving me on the side of the road to die.

Then came a death in the family of the lady I was seeing, and the dissolution of that relationship.  Then I deleted every single one of my 375 Facebook friends only to selectively re-add only certain people that I can trust and depend upon.  Add to that shutting down the blog site, getting it reestablished again, thinking about quitting comedy then changing my mind, and losing my job last Monday……yeah, it’s been too much fun.

Let me be clear.  I highly doubt that anyone else I know of could handle all this bullshit with the courage that I have faced it with.  Let’s be honest, when tough times hit certain people, they like to go and use social media to sway public opinion for their cause which is easy to do if you only want to tell one side of the story, or if you only want to listen to one side of the story.  Others would need to go and turn to alcohol, drugs or mean spirited personal attacks.  When I went to prayer night last week, a friend of mine said it was a sign of my character and heart to come seeking God for help instead of wanting to end my life, instead of wanting to lash out at others I reached out to the wonderful people at my church to help me back onto my feet.  That means a lot to me when friends of mine who haven’t known me for very long can be true friends like that.  It means a lot.

So, what does all this mean?  Well, aside from being fired for no reason from my job, it now means that I can take a week or two just to clear my head, to get back into the right frame of mind to move forward, which means getting back into church and committing myself to a closer relationship to God.

People can call me a lot of things.  Some of them are laughable because there is no basis for these labels. Some call me a narcissist (if you look up the definition anyone who truly knows me can see that’s a farce).  Others call me a screw up, failure as a boyfriend, bad with money, insensitive (at times), shy, arrogant….the list goes on and on.  But the one thing that nobody can ever accuse me of being is a quitter.  Ever.  I don’t give a shit who you think you are.  There is no proof that exists that suggests I am a quitter.

My parents have called me a loser among other things, but I’m not a quitter.  A quitter has no hope, doesn’t believe in others and is hopeless, heartless and a coward.  Why a coward?  Cowards are chickenshit to try, it’s easier for a person to quit than to try.  Too many people today simply give up because they can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I am here to tell you that the light always exists, it’s just a question of whether or not you want that light to exist.

I for one does not know what the future will hold for me.  I could reestablish a broken relationship.  I could start a new one.  I could start doing corporate comedy gigs.  I could headline a comedy show in the near future.  I could land the job I have always wanted.  I could become a father.  I do know the promise God gave us all.  He reminds us that if we stay faithful even when times are tough, even when people mistreat us, He will restore double to what was taken away from us before the tough times came along.

The only things I know within the realm of this blog that the future will hold are a couple specific things. I know I’ll still perform stand up.  The blog will become more responsive and try to have a greater reach within the comedy community (more on that in a minute).  Los Angeles and an appearance at The Comedy Store in Hollywood is in my future too (for those of you who think I am full of shit, you need to stop being jealous and understand that I have a contact in Los Angeles who believes in me enough to help me get better…..strange concept, hey?)

Now, going forward there are a couple things to remember.  For starters, anyone who subscribed to the blog before, now that the blog as been reactivated all email subscriptions have been deleted.  If you wish to subscribe by email and be among the first to get the newest posts sent to your inbox, just lick the link on the right hand side of the page.  Also, I will have more guest contributors from other comedians or comedy fans.  If you think the blog is a joke, why don’t you apply yourself and maybe try writing something about comedy that you think would be insightful and beneficial to the readership that’s spanned over 110 countries and 17,000+ views.

I have stood up to the people before who don’t have the guts to put their name behind these slanderous, hateful comments.  I will continue to stand up to you bullies because that is all you are.  The only difference is, this time I know that after 4.5 years of comedy I have an army of supporters that stand behind me to help combat this hateful diatribe that has no basis of fact.

I might even have one person of the female persuasion standing beside me in this ongoing fight in the very near future.  Will it be from the broken relationship?  Is it my long lost sister?  Is it a really hot girl I paid to stand beside me for the image enhancement?  Maybe it’s all three.  Maybe it’s none of these. Maybe you should just stay tuned and come along for the ride to see how this chapter within the ongoing story ends…….

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