An Ex Isn’t Loyal, But Mustangs Sure Are

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This weekend was one I definitely needed.  Not only did it restore my faith in humanity, it also showed me for the first time the power and energy that comes with being a comedian brings.

Trevor Dean.  Mount Royal graduate, class of 1991.  Professional comedian.  Yes, you read that right.  I am considered to be a professional by my peers in Los Angeles, because I have performed in professional clubs and got a paycheque as a result.  Nobody here has ever called me a professional.  They call me every other derogatory name under the sun.  So to have a successful comedian/actor/comedy school founder/writer of the hit movie “Stretch” look at me as an equal, as a fellow comedian, well that’s pretty empowering.

Certainly not that this high school reunion was all about me, but the majority of people I talked to said the same things.  They said they heard I do stand up or they have watched my videos on YouTube. Somehow I have entered into people’s conversations on occasion from them following me on my comedy page.

People got excited, they wanted to hear a bit of my material.  I think stand-up comedy has that allure to it that draws people in.  They get curious and excited.  Some of my classmates wanted to see how Trevor from high school manages to get up in front of people he doesn’t know (or in this case, that I knew from years back), and tell jokes with the confidence that they will generate laughs.  The more I visited with others, the more people had asked.

We went to a house party after the official reunion party had shut down, and there, in front of about a dozen people I’ve known since I was a kid, I did a few minutes of material.  I have to admit, they were the best audience I’ve had in months.  They were captive, attentive and laughed.  Leave it to friends I haven’t seen in 25 years to lift me up like that.

These last few months have been difficult, if not embarrassing at times, going from being fired without cause, to the drama surrounding my previous relationship.  With life bearing down on me and screwing me yet again in the process, I felt as if avoiding the reunion was a safe bet.  What would I tell people that I do now?

It turns out that telling them I’m Trevor Dean, professional comedian, and the fact I was still alive and had my health was good enough for them to hear.  I was asked if comedy is fun.  It isn’t, and hasn’t been for a while.  It’s a war of attrition, it’s lonely, frustrating, sad and confusing.  It incorporates the highest of highs, and the lowest of the lows.  If you meet another comedian and they tell you it’s nothing but fun, that’s because they don’t take it seriously enough to properly study comedy or want to make it a bigger success for themselves.

Comedy is more like a marathon instead of a sprint.  At times during the race, you will have those moments of energy that propel you forward and get you excited about the finish line, even if you cannot see it yet.  This past weekend was that boost I needed.  When I am back at the comedy club in the fall, I will do my best to get the old graduating class out, make it a high school reunion all over again.  I know some of you are very eager to see me live on stage, and with the new direction I’m moving into with my comedy, I believe it will be way more successful than my current act.  It has lead to better writing, and will lead to opportunities for corporate gigs and Christmas parties, because what I have planned, nobody else is doing in Canada or the USA.  Do a search about it online and you can’t find any evidence of a comic doing what I have planned.  This weekend has given me that energy and the creative boost I needed.  Thank you guys for lifting me up.

This is post #229.  In over 4.5 years The Stand Up Diaries have reached over 110 countries around the world with over 7,700 visitors reading posts over 21,000 times.  Over the last eighteen months or so, a lot of my subject matter for this blog has unfortunately revolved around my previous relationship.  But, it did define my comedy after the toxicity and drama from it started moving from my personal life into my comedic career.  This weekend at the reunion taught me an extremely valuable lesson that I don’t think even my bestest, most close and personal friend could have taught me.  Leave it to the class of 1991 to do that for me.

I do material about my ex.  She likes to play the victim, spinning things however she wants.  Much like a politician, she uses facebook as part of a well orchestrated public relations campaign.  Just like a politician, both of them will only tell part of the story that makes themselves look good, with a mere sprinkling of the facts here and there (making sure to leave out other facts to make it a balanced story), with just enough facts to make them look like the victim, like they have done nothing wrong.

But in the end, my message, one of humility and truth can reach a more massive audience around the world.  I’ve been doing comedy for almost five years with absolutely no support from my family, and with what can best be described as inconsistent support from the comedy community at large.  I treat others the way I want to be treated.  If you get called out by me in a blog post (even though I don’t mention you by name), and you take offence to it, then you maybe shouldn’t have been an asshole in the first place.  I don’t tolerate being shit on byother comics or people in general.  I draw my line in the sand, and you best not cross it.

When she reaches that point (again) where her self-esteem is lower than it is currently (which will happen again), she will reach out to me (again) wanting to see how I am because she cares as a friend.  I will listen to what she has to say.  I’ll keep the lines of communication open, because I am not the one who quit on her.  At 40 years old I have enough self-esteem to not need my mother to dictate my social life telling me who I can and cannot talk to.

If she thinks that her drama and games affect me, think again.  It’s like my comedy coach said, I am Trevor Dean, and I’m going places.  He also stated that he will get me a television spot in the USA.  Not only that, but once I am successful (for once in my bloody life!) then the right woman will find me and want to be a part of the story that continues to be written, day after day.

All this time I had people in my corner lifting me up, and I didn’t even know about it.  Sometimes social media does have its good side after all.

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