And In This Corner……

Tags: The Stand-Up Diaries, trevor dean

People may wonder why I write about the things that have no real bearing on local comedy or from my comedy journey.  There is a reason for that.

The short answer is, when something affects me, chances are pretty good that it will affect my comedy journey in some way or another.  If I just started this blog, then it’s understandable for people to say I am an attention seeker or just trying to be dramatic.

However, I’ve been doing this blog for over ten years.  Much like the blog has evolved, I have as well.  Almost 400 posts and a global audience of over 53,000 have experienced the highs and lows of this journey.  Most of the times have been lows.  Should I be surprised, since comedy is a business that is built on failure, meaning you cannot succeed without knowing what works.  You only know what works through failure.

When something bothers me to the degree that it affects my life, I talk about it.  I am also probably the only comic around these parts that can admit to failure, missing the mark, not quite having it.

When the subject matter involves another person, even though their name is not mention, it’s implied that the majority of people I know who read this will be able to connect the dots and figure out who exactly I’m talking about.

Whether it’s right or wrong to post certain details about a relationship, or dealings with somebody is debatable.  Talking about somebody else on a global platform such as this, can require assuming some risk at times.  At the end of the day however, the ends do justify the means in a sense, because it creates a conversation to be had, either from the person I am writing about, or from friends that read the posts.

Sometimes when I don’t know what to say, or how to say it, I just say it the best way I can, and that would be from the heart.  It isn’t pretty, it can be gritty, a bit too deep, a bit too personal. But in the end, it’s authentic, it’s honest, it comes from the heart.  It created a conversation to be had with the person I wrote about, and in the end that’s all I could have hoped for.  I owe this person an explanation, and rightly so, based on the subject matter of the post, which has since been deleted at her request.

It’s not easy being me, getting treated like the lowest rung on the ladder for most of your adult life. Even though I’ve had a remarkable turnaround in the last several months of my life, some things, old habits, old thought patterns, still dog me.  They do not hold me captive like they once, did.  Their grip on my life is much less, but it doesn’t mean they are any less problematic or potent.

That is what happens when you become sad or depressed.  You always know how it starts, you can see it coming.  This time however, it doesn’t last.  It does not stay as long because you’ve acquired new tools in your toolbox to get yourself out of that rut sooner.  It doesn’t necessarily mean the pain is any less, it just doesn’t stick around as long, thankfully for me.

The worst thing to have happen would be for the heartfelt, impactful posts that I write fall upon deaf ears to the ones I need to communicate with the most, the ones I write about.

I can admit I am not perfect. I also have enough love, compassion, empathy and other stuff within me to know that if somebody is uncomfortable with what I write about them, I can edit it or remove the post.  It’s only happened one other time before in the 390+ posts that I have written.  I’d say that’s a pretty good success rate.

If you are struggling, don’t hold it in.  Talk to somebody, even if you are unsure how to get across what you’re feeling, having somebody who will listen to you makes all the difference in the world.  Like I said, it’s a conversation starter, because admitting your struggles, your shortcomings is never a bad thing.