The Final Countdown

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I know who you are.  Some of you hide behind an e-mail address, some of you don’t have a name, while others don’t have a face, but I do know you exist.  Then there are those who show up to watch and you don’t say anything after the show.  It could have been great, it could have been the shits, either way it amounts to indifference in the end.  Hell, I’m sure I get bashed publicly, made fun of online, my family doesn’t care, much less believe I can succeed.  The guy who runs the local scene here doesn’t think I will succeed either (although he said I’m still welcome to try and show him otherwise).

Some take their FB pages way too seriously, while others think it’s their divine right to make fun of me onstage and have a good laugh, yet it is blasphemy if it goes the other way in their direction.  The crowds are small, they usually sit towards the back because they think we’ll make fun of them, and they spread themselves out, making it tough for anyone on stage to get a good idea of audience response, because it’s tough to gague when the laughter is so spread out, makes it even tougher to watch when it’s on tape.

People have even gone as far as posting pictures of a train wreck and refer to that as my act, saying I’m a no-good, piece of shit hack who can’t write, one who isn’t funny and one who will not be successful.

That’s right, I know you are out there.  That lineup of people seems to grow every week, and I love it.  Keep on growing, because tomorrow night, I am going put all this crap to great use.

How, you might ask?

Well, today is the last day I am 38, which means tomorrow I celebrate my 39th birthday, and Dez will let me take to the stage at the comedy club, being the last local comic to do so.  I couldn’t sleep last night, so in 5 minutes I wrote out 40 items for a set, yes…that is right…40 items!  That means 45 minutes to an hour of material that I have.  I am full of anger, frustration and hurt.  They say pain makes good comedy?  We’ll see tomorrow night.

Oh, if any of you take offence to what I say tomorrow, then you really don’t belong in a comedy club.  Let’s face it, if I wanted to offend someone, I mean REALLY offend them, I’m a guy…it doesn’t take much thought on a guys part to say something stupid and ignorant to really piss somebody off.

Plus, tomorrow night in the audience in addition to having friends from church there, also in attendance will be three or four ladies from a dating site I have been talking to that I will meet at the club for the first time.  Yes, you got that right, I am on a dating site to meet women, and I invite them to a comedy club to watch my rant.  Is that a lot of pressure to put on me?  Um…….ya think?  Then again, I don’t give a shit for a couple reasons.

  • I am CONFIDENT that they will have an enjoyable evening overall from listening to all the comics
  • Let’s face it, the decent ones will probably not be into me and leave
  • Most importantly, it’s a great way to weed out the prospects.  Face it, if one actually takes offence to what I say tomorrow night, it’s because they think what I said is truly indicative of me and of who I am.  Those kind of people I don’t need in my life, because when push comes to shove and I need someone in my corner when times get tough, they will probably bail out and quit, so I’m doing a lot of the legwork weeding these types out tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night is the start of the new Trevor Dean onstage.  Having said that, you guys are an audience, you pay your money to watch, so you have an opinion.  I only know of one person so far who hasn’t been afraid to voice their opinion.  I didn’t take offence to it, listened and followed the advice, and it actually worked.  I am asking you to not just say thanks for the night and split.  Seriously?  I put time and effort into making this work. Just because you might not laugh at a particular bit, that tells me nothing.  Tell me what worked, what didn’t work, and why?  How the hell am I supposed to get better at this if you guys all clam up and say nothing?

I am angry, I’ve got a lot of shit to get out of my system.  Tomorrow night I will do just that.  It will be funny.  IT WILL BE FUNNY!

I know you don’t believe me, so make sure you sit right in the front row tomorrow so you can witness me succeed.

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