Proper Etiquette At A Comedy Club

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I never thought I would have to write a blog about this topic because for the most part, the friends of mine who come out to a comedy show already know how to behave.  Unfortunately though, there are some who are pretty stupid.  Even worse, they won’t know that this blog is about them, and if they found out that it was, they are too self-absorbed to even admit that the way they behaved was inappropriate.  Now, I am sure that comics put up with this sort of shit because it’s just the nature of the business.  Having said that, I will not talk about the specific incident(s) that have lead me to write this particular posting.  I’ll just make a general comment, if I may.

First, at the risk of sounding sexist, which I am not, more often than not it’s the women….no, I can’t even say that.  It depends on the venue, from what I’ve witnessed from the venues I have performed at, it’s mostly a 50/50 split between the men and the women doing this.

There are two types of people this pertains to.

Group #1 – Being at a venue where you DIDN’T realize comedy is taking place

This is truly the element of surprise.  You show up at a venue where you go to partake in the food and/or drink specials for the night, it’s a nice time of good conversation, good company, smiles and laughs, and some music in the background.

Next thing you know, all these guys walk in and sit at this one table, they aren’t eating or drinking necessarily, just milling about.  The music dies down and you notice there is a stage and a mic.  Someone takes to the mic and says there is a comedy night.  Now, if you have any common sense at all, there are a couple things you can do at this point.

  1. If you feel that your night has been “interrupted” because of this comedy, take offense, finish your food and leave.
  2. You’re still surprised that comedy is happening, but you stay and watch for a while.

Group #2 – You KNOW that the venue you are going to HAS stand-up comedy taking place

There is no surprise here.  Either you read on Facebook, saw advertising somewhere, or you were awake enough to see the signs on the door or the moniker (sorry folks – that’s a fancy word for sign) that comedy is taking place, so you know what you’re in for.


I don’t know of anybody really who doesn’t like comedy, because there is always something that somebody will find funny.  If you are one of these hard-ass types who don’t like to have fun, then why do you laugh at anything?

K….how do I put this in a nice way?  Maybe I should start by saying it’s mostly the younger crowd that have this problem of KEEPING THEIR MOUTHS SHUT.  Think about it, the majority of comics that go onstage are there becausethey are paid to be onstage.  That is their livelihood, and they should be able to do what they do.  For those of you who disagree, would you like it if I went into your workplace, whether you are at a desk job, or a server somewhere and become rude and disruptive, not allowing you to do your job?  Really?

The majority of people who are at a comedy club or at a venue that has comedy in it, are there for a reason. It’s to laugh and have a good time with friends, it’s NOT TO HEAR YOUR DRAMA ABOUT WHO CALLED YOU WHAT NAMES.  IT’S NOT TO HEAR YOU TALK LOUD ENOUGH ABOVE THE COMICS TO PROVE TO PEOPLE HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE EITHER.

Here’s a tip from common courtesy 101.  Save the drama and bullshit for somewhere else.  If you are jealous because the comic onstage is getting more attention than you are, take your attitude and GET THE FUCKOUT.  In case you aren’t smart enough to figure it out, a comedy event works best when the crowd shuts up and laughs, meaning the crowd is respectful and appreciative of the comics on stage, so they let them work.  If you think it’s so easy to get up onstage and try stand-up, why don’t we switch places and you can have me beak at you from the cheap seats.  Chances are you’d get frustrated, angry, it wouldn’t be funny, and you would drive people away.  What’s more is, for a newer comic like me who doesn’t have lots of experience yet, if you keep talking and spewing your drama and bullshit when I am onstage, it’s tough for me to stick to the game plan I had in my head.  maybe I should write out my set list and have it up there with me so I don’t get so sidetracked again.

If you get in a pissy mood, regardless of the reason while you are in attendance at a comedy event, at least be considerate of those around you and take your bullshit outside.  Go bang your head against a fucking brick wall, start a fight outside, or go into the washroom to calm down, but if one of the comics invites you to watch, show some fucking class and not be such a disrespectful bag.  Better yet, do the world a favour and take a shower or bath every day because you fucking stank!

Simply put, it is called common sense, and common courtesy.  If you have neither, DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND STAY THE FUCK HOME!!!!!!!!!!!

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