The University Of Adversity

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If you were to ask me to define how 2015 went for me as a comedian, I’d tell you it felt like I was getting an education I didn’t think I needed.  It was an education where the tuition is free.  At times it seems like you are the only one in the class, and it closely mirrored how my life went.

I was in the university of adversity (my apologies in advance to Pastor Perry for stealing the title from his sermon last week).  I chose this title because it really spoke to how the last couple months have gone for me in particular.

The year started off with my girlfriend intact (at the time), fresh off my debut just a couple months before at the professional comedy club in town (when there used to be just one).  In the early summer I got back to the club in between monthly gigs in Regina.  The show in Saskatoon didn’t quite go as planned.  I didn’t do as well as I would have liked.  Once getting back to the pro club was off the table for the rest of the year, I found my way back to the local comedy scene again until mid-October, when I had to step away from comedy for personal reasons.

The months of October and November were absolute shit for me, the worst I’ve ever experienced.  My girlfriend at the time left.  She just cut all contact with me and left me gutted and an emotional wreck.  If you don’t believe me, ask my chiropractor.  Yes, my chiro guy.  I just about lost my shit when he asked me about her one day.

I’m sure you’ve read the posts about her before and some of you know the story.  For those who don’t I will sort of cut to the chase.  She left at the beginning of October.  I was a mess.  I tried to continue with comedy but after a few weeks of not having her in my life, I reached a point where I couldn’t continue. Doing jokes about her made me feel worse, and as a result I got noticeably agitated and upset on stage. My sets suffered.  When I was homeless, jobless and broke it was easy to do comedy because it served as a motivator, something to look forward to at the end of the day no matter how shitty of a day it ended up being.  But this was different.  My true love, and the rest of my life were hanging in the balance.  It made no sense to try when my heart wasn’t 100% in it.  Comedy audiences are too smart, you can’t fool them on most nights.  You need to be at your best.  I clearly was not.

Through God moving in our lives to open the lines of communication again, and with help from close friends and an amazing church congregation, we started talking again.  I can now say that we are in the process of determining what our future will look like, shall we decide to move forward as a couple.

I then had a personal issue that cleared itself up a week ago, one that will finally allow me to move forward both in comedy and in life.  The only thing is, the trip to Los Angeles will be on hold for a while. It’s a priority for me to try and rebuild my relationship and improve on stage in Saskatoon before I go anyplace else first.

This year wasn’t marked by success on stage as much as it was more characterized by the lessons I went through.  Yes, Trevor Dean and struggle seem to go together, don’t they?  I believe these last couple months have given me insight on new material I can use to try and lift people up, kinda like comedy with a purpose.  I hope in the next few months to put pen to paper and map out material that would highlight my struggles and how I overcame them.  Don’t worry though.  I will remember to make it funny.

So, what’s on tap for 2016?  Well, getting back to the pro comedy club is near the top of my list, in addition to getting better at the weekly open mics.  But the top priorities for 2016 are my relationship with God, and the relationship with the woman I now realize I cannot live without.  Now that my personal problems are in the past, and I am rebuilding what I lost, I can put more of my energy into comedy.

Before I go, I had a friend of mine tell me that I put way too much of my personal life into my blog postings.  This friend said if they were me, there would be a boundary as to how much they let out.

At times I have wondered why I maybe write about a bit more than I should concerning my personal life, but then again if I did put up boundaries, this blog wouldn’t be as engaging of a read now, would it? In todays world of social media, you get the news immediately.  It seems like we want to know everything about celebrities and of entertainers.  By me telling you of my real struggles, you can see not only is my material coming from real life, but it’s also coming straight from the source.  Me.  You aren’t reading it in the newspaper, on another blog or on t.v.  It’s coming straight from me, whether I screw up or succeed.

This year has been difficult and the last couple months I would never wish upon anyone to experience.  I am beyond thankful and blessed that I have such wonderful friends who have helped me through this. So to them, my church and the fellow Saskatoon comics, I owe a huge debt of gratitude towards you all.

May God richly bless you and your family during this holiday season.  May you celebrate Christmas as the season of renewal, the season of hope and change as we celebrate the reason for the season, Jesus. Value and cherish the time you spend with family during this holiday season, because in life, you don’t know how many second chances you will receive, nor do you know how long you will be around for.

Again, thank you for following my exploits in 2015.  Next year will be better, I promise.  It has to be, because there is only one way to go when you’re down, and that’s up.



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