Should I Quit?

Tags: stand-up diaries, The Stand-Up Diaries, Trevor Dean comedian

When I dated Nicki, one of the first conversations I had with her went something like this.

“If I ever start a conversation with you by saying I’m thinking of quitting comedy, I need you to talk me out of it.”

Nicki is gone, and I honestly feel that if I told people close to me that I was quitting, everyone close to me would probably understand my decision, but not necessarily talk me out of it. 

I feel like there is nobody in my corner that will try to talk me out of it, except my comedy coach. But I kinda could use somebody closer to talk to. Problem is I don’t believe that such a person exists in my life.

Then, my last post I talked about how I was feeling and I get comments like you suck and stop your bitching. 

It isn’t bitching, it’s part of the narrative of my story. 

I will be having discussions with my team in the coming weeks about my future in comedy.  I’m tired of being railroaded every time I try to get somewhere. I never get asked to do other shows outside of open mics. I’m tired of being left out, let alone having podcasts and media turn their noses up at me when I would like to tell my story.

All I need right now is for somebody to listen, somebody to try and tell me why I should keep going. I doubt anybody in this city exists to fill that role.

I never thought I would seriously entertain the thought of quitting, but here we are. 

After six years, I’m tired of being shit on, being told I’m not good enough, being told I don’t have a half hour, not getting asked to do fundraisers or corporate gigs.

After almost six years with nobody close to me to help guide me through this journey at this time, I’m tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of being left out by the Saskatoon scene. Tired of being threatened, shit on and ignored. 

It’s very possible that when I get back on stage at the Laugh Shop in 2018, that those two weekend shows may very well be my last. 
That isn’t quite the way I wanted to try and sell out the Laugh Shop, but that’s what it could be coming to.