Knock Knock……. Who Goes There?

Tags: Saskatoon comedians, stand up comedy, stand-up diaries, standup diaries, The Stand-Up Diaries, trevor dean, Trevor Dean comedian, trevor dean saskatoon

Well, we are down to one job (don’t ask, long story) with zero hours for this week and next, with no full-time job prospects in sight and a never-ending saga of debt and bills that I have no idea how they will get dealt with.  So yeah, things are great!  Thanks for not remembering to ask.

I only say that because in times like this, sometimes all a person could use is a bit of recognition, you know?  I mean, I know I’m not anywhere near as popular, let alone anywhere on the scale as the guys who run the local scene are.  It would be nice to have more than just one person in the last couple months message me and ask me how things are.

Then again, when I posted that I was going to get back on the comedy horse again, there were about a half-dozen people who liked the post, which I guess is their way of saying they care and wish me well, even though they don’t message me to see how things are.  That kind of bothers me, maybe because I’m disappointed that people don’t care the way I think they should.  That smacks of neediness, which I guess means I picked the right profession to enter with comedy, because we know that comedians are needy, by nature.  I’d explain how they are needy, but if you have been paying attention at all to this blog, you’ll already know my thoughts on the subject.

I say all that because at this time, it would be nice to get words of encouragement or have people check in on me.  Relationships should go beyond just liking a Facebook post, shouldn’t they?  Sure, it’s summer and people tend to get busy, but believe you me, once the things start getting taken away from you that you valued in life, you’ll have regrets.

Privacy concerns are a big issue these days, and rightfully so.  However, I don’t like the fact that I despite having three Facebook fan pages, I am unable to see the complete list of who likes my pages.

It would be nice to know.  I sometimes wonder why people from another country end up liking the comedy page, or why a random person likes it.  Sometimes I would like to message them and ask, maybe get their insight and opinions on my comedy journey, but given all the hate that’s been sent my way in the past, it’s better to not go down that road at all.

I wonder who the people are that like the comedy page, and the blog that I cannot see on my list.  After over 6.5 years of doing this, I am quite certain that there are some who are stalking me online and keeping tabs on me, hoping that I fail.  I know these people exist, I just can’t say how many are out there.  I know they stalk me, spy on me and slander me.  Some follow me that don’t want me to know because I might make a bigger deal out of it than what it should be.  When you have over 350 followers on your social media platforms (three Facebook fan pages, two Twitter handles and this blog), given my journey thus far and the obstacles I’ve faced, it’s safe to say there are a few critics out there.

I’m probably the least successful person that attends my church, and certainly the least successful local comedian.  When you fail repeatedly and have your family, ex-girlfriend and employers all quit on you, it tends to humble you pretty quick.  You may make more mistakes, as I have, but that usually comes with a sense of not caring, because the rest of life is that lousy, nobody is paying attention anyways.

I was at an employment recruiters office a couple of weeks ago, and in the waiting room I read an article from a lady with the John Maxwell organization.  The article asked whether you lived a life of success or significance, and which you valued more.  At the end of the article it said we should not be in such a hurry to chase success, rather to live a life of significance, through which success will follow.

If you take a look at my life, there aren’t many successes at all, mostly failures.  But when I fail, when I struggle, I tend to do it significantly.  I have lived a life of significance far more so than a life of success. I’d say it’s an 85/15 split in favour of significance.

I’m sure the significance I’ve created has some success in there somewhere.  I just can’t see it.  Hopefully the world won’t have to wait until I’ve departed from this Earth to remind me of my successes.  However, trying to find people to give you an encouraging word about your successes is just like the privacy settings on Facebook.  I’d love to know all who follow me, so I knew who to reach out to at times when I need to.

But, where do you begin to seek it out when you aren’t sure who cares, if they care, or if they care in the way you need them to at all.

What a lousy, empty summer.  Yet again.