A Tale Of Two Families – One Ignorant, One Inclusive

Tags: comedians, comedy scene, determination, faith, persistence, Saskatoon, Saskatoon comedians, Saskatoon comedy, stand-up comedy, stand-up diaries, standup diaries, The Stand-Up Diaries, trevor dean, Trevor Dean comedian, trevor dean saskatoon

This Christmas was the absolute worst I have ever experienced, and like I said on my personal Facebook page, I couldn’t be happier about that.

They say that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.  When you start changing your response when situations come against you, you will see the situation change, usually for the better.  On Christmas day my consistent response in a positive fashion helped me understand something crystal clear.

Before I get into it, let me be clear.  What I’m about to share are facts, and my family is not on social media, nor do they care about anything I do outside of having a job or a place to live.  My ex-girlfriend, volunteer activities and stand-up comedy all get viewed in a negative light by my family, or they just don’t bring it up.  I doubt my family knows about my blog, they sure as hell have no clue about the strides I have made through my church in these last 2.5 years, mainly because they treat me like my circumstances.  If Jesus, or the father, treated us based on our circumstances, we would never get healing, deliverance or be blessed with the desires of our hearts.  That’s a fact.

If my family somehow found out about these posts that paint them in a critical light, it might make them take a look in the mirror, and at least examine the truth that I put forward, and take the points that I make and examine them.  Wait, this is my family we are talking about.  That would never happen.  So, on to the story.

My brother has a girlfriend.  You read that right.  Don’t ask me how that happened.  I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one myself.  I figured it would be worth the entertainment value to see what he attracted, in addition to getting gifts and possibly talked down to.  But the fact he brought a woman home made the expected abuse worth taking for once.  Don’t worry, this does tie into comedy, as well as life.  I received revelation from God that blew my mind, and will probably blow yours too.  Needless to say, a long time overdue!

I volunteered that day at the Friendship Inn.  I’ve done that two years in a row.  It’s a great way to give back and the staff there are amazing to work with.  So, I get to the house and said to her, “so, you must be the one I’ve heard nothing about”, while being friendly and warm.  They were finishing up supper, even though I had lunch at 11:00, I was told to be at the house for 11:00, and they still decided to not include me for the Christmas meal.

Don’t worry, this story gets better…..

The only conversation I had with his new woman revolved around her interjecting into the conversation about people we went to elementary school with who passed away, as she was in the same grade growing up as my brother.  Then we sat down to do a gift exchange. She got my parents a card, and my brother in the past would get me gifts based on what I liked 20 years ago, which shows that….well, it shows a lot of things, but you’d think once we are adults over 40 that he would at least treat me like family and see what I am interested in.  I don’t have his new phone number, nor his e-mail address.  I haven’t hung out with him in years, mainly because he has the personality of cardboard.  He is as predictable as my parents.  It’s funny that his woman makes him do things he never used to do, like take selfies with her and go to Rider games.  He’s about his NY Giants (I swear you mention Eli Manning and he gets aroused), his dog, and his two friends.  Yup.  Two.

When our family had a verbal fight a few months back, he went into the bathroom, closed the door and locked it.  Yup, maturity in progress.  For those of you wondering, it was mostly a one sided conversation, that my dad started, complete with him yelling and swearing, while I just sat there.

He didn’t get me a gift, and they didn’t engage in conversation with me at all.  No questions about my life, nothing about comedy.  You thought she would be intrigued that I am into stand-up, but that isn’t the case.  Heck, my brother didn’t even know about it until I told him five years in, and he works with my dad.  Well, he used to.  My dad, at 74, finally sold his business but the terms of his contract state he has to work mornings until July of next year.  My brother does not have Crones Disease anymore, and is off of disability, but he isn’t back at work, and hasn’t been since the beginning of 2018, because from the way my mother puts it, he doesn’t like working when customers yell at him and tell him what to do.

Uh, excuse me, but that’s the way the world works today.  You need some interpersonal skills or at the very least a personality to successfully deal with things like that.  So, he’s lived off his savings for the year.  I don’t know who will hire him with the way his attitude is.  If he ever gets asked to fly somewhere for training, he might pee his pants again in the airport and miss his flight.  Maybe sitting at home doing nothing suits him best.  From the way he talks about every second of the day with his dog, that’s what he seems to live for.

My dad asked me how I got my brand new phone for $150, when it sold for $900.  I call that a blessing and favour from God, but I didn’t care to explain that to dad.  I just confirmed the story and said it was nice of the SaskTel employee to do that for me.

My brother could have set a better example, so could my family, for his new woman and show her how a family is supposed to treat each other.  But, it hasn’t happened and why should I expect it to change after all these years.

But, during the gift opening and sitting there afterwards, I sat there with a smile on my face.  During that whole time the only thing I thought to myself was thanking God for blessing me and calling me to the most amazing church in the world.

After the gifts were done, I noticed my brother didn’t give me anything, which is just as well I suppose.  What would I do with more books about WWF superstars or NHL players from the 80s?

God downloaded something into my spirit that was profound, and made me realize next year, and future years to come, I won’t ever go back for Christmas, or anything else.  This is what was placed in my spirit:

if you’re the smartest one in the room, your circle is too small.  you’ve just become the smartest one in the room based on your decision to follow me

Then, the second part of the revelation I received floored me.

if you stay in my presence and keep coming to church, you will never be the smartest person in the room.  it’s impossible to be the smartest person in the room when you are in my presence

Prevailing wisdom tells us if you are the smartest one in the room, you need to find people smarter than you to help you get to that next level in life.  This is why that revelation was given to me.  If I keep attending church, I will find people that are smarter than me in certain areas of life, but we all are nowhere near as smart as God, which is why we try to follow His calling on our lives, to see what He has in store for us.

My family, let alone my brother, weren’t too subtle about the fact I’m not really part of the family anymore.  My brother seems to be intent on treating me based on my circumstances, and that’s fine.  His woman will see what’s really inside him when life puts the squeeze on a relationship, as it’s bound to happen with every romantic relationship.  If he gets sick again, I doubt he’d be happy to see me, then again, it would help if my parents didn’t wait 13 hours to let me know he was in the hospital for Crones Disease, after surgery and he was in recovery.  Yeah, makes me feel like I’m a part of things.

I had two families from church ask me if I had any plans for Christmas, and they would invite me to spend it with them if I didn’t.  One family even offered to drive into the city from Martensville to come get me.  Looks like I might take them up on the offer next Christmas, because being the smartest person in the room isn’t for me anymore.

If God treated me based on my circumstances, based on the fact I’ve had 7 jobs in the last two years, I wouldn’t have received a $3,000 cheque from my bank for the insurance premiums incorrectly allocated from the last seven years, when I needed it to pay rent and my bills.  I wouldn’t have received a new phone that is just one year old, the next newest model of my old phone, on sale with a $750 discount.  That is called blessing and favour for sticking with my church despite what’s going on in my life.

Scriptures say there is nothing that can separate a person from the love of the father.  You can even make mistakes and have it not count against your call He’s put on your life.  Your mistakes you make while on your Christian walk don’t disqualify you from blessings He has lined up for you.  I know, because I make the same mistakes I have in the past.  The only difference is that I do them with less frequency, to the point where I can go a few days and not think about them, where it used to be a daily occurrence of certain things that set me back and cost me a relationship with a good woman.

Last night, I had those thoughts again, I won’t lie.  I am lots of things to lots of different people, but the one thing I’m not is fake.  I am probably the most authentic comedian in Saskatoon by a country mile.  I know because the treatment I’ve received has shown me what’s in their hearts.  When people criticize you or trash you for what you’re doing, it shows that they really don’t want you to succeed.  It’s like TD Jakes once said, people will criticize you first and try to figure you out later.  Well, nobody in the comedy community has bothered to figure me out after seven years, mainly because I don’t colour inside the lines like the others.  I had to find my own path to success, however small it may be, and that rankled people.

Anyhow, when those thoughts came, I started listening to worship music, one song in particular, over and over again.  There are some really cool songs that are upbeat and catchy.  I listened to the one over and over again until I crashed to sleep.

The difference is what happened when I woke up.  I instantly felt something I never felt before, especially first waking up in the morning.  I felt joy, happy, positive.  That could be rendered as unexplainable, but I think it’s God’s way of rewarding me for the gains I’ve made in the last couple years with my journey.

Now, I have no doubt in my mind who my family is, who my real family is.  My church family is my family and will be from this day forward.  Any good news, any blessings, any woman I meet, all things I won’t wait to share with my family.  My family beat me down for years treating me like my circumstances.  Within the last couple years I have changed my response to their toxic attitudes.  While it’s made them less confrontational, it hasn’t made us into more of a family.  That’s okay with me.  We had a decent run, but it’s time for me to move on.

This brings me to the comedy portion of this post.

Geez, my fingers are sore.  Um, maybe that’s from typing over 2,100 words already.  Hey, thanks for the tip, voice inside my head!

This will be the last post of 2018.  I won’t look back on the year, only to say that it is what it is.  But it’s not what it seems (where have I heard that before?)

I have no job at the moment, therefore no way to pay rent for January.  EI is maxed out as well.  But these blessings God showed me are like signposts that will lead to the desires of my heart being fulfilled.  I know because Iève seen this script play itself out before, and with God on my side I never, EVER lose.  It does not matter what you say or do.  It’s only a matter of time until victory is mine from the Lord, allowing me to proclaim how good He is.

In past years, I have looked to the new year with desperate hope, hoping and wishing that things will be different next year because I can no longer take the status quo.  This coming year, I don’t have that same desperate hope.  I have this gaining confidence, conviction and faith that things will turn around next year, and turn around in such a way that will confound and confuse my critics.  They will say I don’t deserve such good breaks and will wonder how they happened to someone like me, after all that I have ensued.  But my church family knows it’s from the goodness of God, as part of His plan.  All things work together for good.  That means all things, regardless of how big of a misstep, regardless of the mistake.  All things will work together for my good.

I have some big plans for 2019, of which no other comedian has planned.  Think about it, the connections I have made in comedy, I am the only local comedian to have them.  The other comedians all have the same connections, but I went out and made my own.  Interestingly enough, nobody has ever asked me to use my connections to help them get stage time, or introduce them to these people to further their contacts within comedy.

This year is going to be big.  I am going to be the closest thing to a Christian comedian this city has, let alone the province.  Take a look at people in the Bible like King David, Sansom, Abraham, Peter or Moses.  God used these men to advance His kingdom and gave them great authority and power.  but notice, with each of the men I listed, all were imperfect.  All had flaws that were well known.  But they still set out and accomplished the will of God on their lives, regardless of the missteps they made.  Doesn’t that sound like me?

I don’t know how I will accomplish my plan.  Maybe I will tour the churches doing stand-up?  Maybe I will host a show at the largest church in the city, who is to say?  What I do know is, when I put together a big show that will attract an audience of a few hundred, I will reach out to the headliners of the local scene to open for me.  They have never asked me to be a part of their shows, but that’s okay.  I will include them in my projects, and they will see my growth, and maybe will change their opinions of me and include me in some gigs of theirs.

I know this year will be big.  I’m going to accomplish big things next year, and I will give all the glory to God, and applicable thanks to my church family as well.  My writing gets taken to another level each week.  The stories are more compelling, the punchlines funnier, that cover God, Jesus, the Bible and Christians in general.  I also have stories about me and my take on things, but it’s less self deprecating to the point where people felt inclined to feel sorry for me instead of laugh in the past.

The fact I responded in such a positive way to Christmas day shows my growth.  Oh, I’m also getting water baptised at my church.  My friends and fellow comedians are welcome to attend.  All they have to do is message me for more information.  It will be happening sometime in January, just unsure of the date at this point.

I’m going to the next level in 2019 in comedy and in life.  The blessings and favour shown to me will be unlike what the comedy world in these parts has seen before.  When I first made the decision to get baptised, I wasn’t sure if I was ready.  The truth is, you are never really ready, but it’s a necessary declaration of your faith, and will unlock the next level of blessings and favour upon your life.  I can’t tell you how I will feel different or what will change internally with a water baptism, but I’m excited to find out.  Each day I feel more powerful, more unstoppable, more thankful and more blessed than ever before.

The best part of getting the good breaks as some call it (blessing and favour of God), is to look back at how far you’ve come.  I never got into comedy wanting to be liked, or because I thought I could be a star.  I simply told myself that I had the God given talents already within me to succeed, so why not try?

The rest as they say, is history, with an amazing next chapter to follow.

All the best in 2019.  I hope you will be more vocal or visible in your support as I embark on an awesome 2019.  Comment at the bottom of the screen, or post on my Facebook comedy page (if you need links, check the main page of the blog).

Yes, it’s a shade over 3,000 words now.  Yes, I am going to listen to worship music again until I fall asleep.  Goodnight.